One of the hardest things in my mind, is deciding what is the best choice for me to make. I have to look past of all the influences of my parents, peers, relatives, and people i don't even know and see what i can do with my life and decide how i am going to make it. Sometimes i allow people in my head. My parents have seeped in, my peers have snaked their way into my ideas and my future of who i could become. I have let this influence build up and it has stormed into a pressure that blockades my will. Ribbons of my potential life lines race past, yet i cannot see them clear enough to read the fine print.

I have been talking to my mom and thinking to myself, why am i going to a college that isn't offering me what i want when i can go out there and do what i want through a small inconvenience of twitching my conscious into believing what i have to do is the right thing. I am going to throw it out to dad tomorrow and see what he says... I am scared he will agree to this idea.. i may have to put aside all feelings of disgruntlement and re-conform myself that which i have in the past despised...

Summertime

Spending the time at another family's house has given me retrospect on my intentions on life. I have always had it in mind to do all i can to find someone to share my life with, thinking i wanted a guy(boyfriend,fiance,husband,soulmate) but i have come to the conclusion that a man is not going to answer anything. I don't need a man to start a family or go through college or anything in life. I would very much enjoy a male companion throughout my journey in life, but i do Not have to wait for a man to start Or complete my dreams.
My Dreams:
*Find a house that i can clean up, fix up, and style up.
*Adopt and foster children or Have some babies of my own(this will need a man)