in my words....

i havent been on my blog since feburary. i'm to tell you what has happened since then

I was living with my parents in gilbert. in feb i went to the UN with the young marines. i had a blast. sooo much fun! in march i moved out. i went and lived with my best friend(to protect her identity she will be Glitz). Glitz and i had a grand time for a while. her mother was crazy and slowly she pushed me out. Glitz and i still were friends and we stayed friends. her mother found out that her and her boyfriend had had sex and her mother teared her away from me. we havent really talked much since. her mother said she would rather have Glitz get pregnant and 'take' the consequences for her actions rather then help Glitz be protected. honestly people, you cant control your kids. no matter WHAT you do to them. if they are gonna do it and find a way anyways, please help them not ruin their lives. what stupid butthead of a mother calls herself a christian then says that its practically 'biblical' to rather have a pregnant daughter then one who can get help and be safe and not ruin her life. GRRR!!!!! >.<    at the time i had been living with a woman i have known for a looong time (Datette). Datette had some kids and she was married. she was very close to me and she had gotten me my job. i had decided to go to school again after having withdrawn early(b4 school actually got out) and so i was going to move to mesa to do school. when i moved Datette's husband, who had just gotten into an accident,  was extremely mad at me. i had enjoyed and appreciated everything they had done for me. but when i went to move my stuff, Datette wasnt there. and her husband was cruel, rude, hostile, selfish, and mean to me AND to my friend(Dusty) who came with me to truck my stuff out. i wasn't going out with anyone then. but i had alot of guy friends who were very nice to me. Dusty was the older son of the family i was formerly living with. He and i had gotten out of hand once in a relationshipish type thing. i had an ex(James) with whom we had had a loong committed relationship that ended quite  badly. we had spent awhile going back and forth and there was some hurt feelings in that. but in the end i broke up with James, i was rude, mean, and not very kind to him when i did it.. that is one of my regrets.. maybe not that i had broken up with him, but how i did it. i should have never treated him that way. i should never treat anyone that way. he was my closest friend and my lover in many ways. we had an amazing long distance relationship for a long time. but i know realize that that chapter of my life is written, printed and published. i could never take that back. the family i was with stressed me out big time. i appreciate everything they did for me. i lived with them while going to summer school. Ian, the 12 yo, was the biggest brat ever!!! he hated me and despite his fathers lying  claims of 'no he doesnt, hes crushing on you', Ian hit me, lied to me, cheated, stole, and everything else one sane human being does NOT do to another. Rick, 10yo was nice and he loved cuddling during movies, but he did everything to please his brother. Jasmine, the 4 yo girl was the biggest most spoilt little brat ever!!!  Their father was creepy and their mother... eh! i get shivers. anyways.  so i actually went to disneyland with this same family and i saw James there. i went to his house for lunch with his family.. all was going well until we were walking downtown disney together and we broached the subject of relationships and he shot me down. he was very strong and adamant that we would NEVER get back together because the long distance isnt worth it.. anyways so i was dating this guy named Brett L. for a week before i left. then i went to a young marine academy for two weeks. Advanced Leadership Academy was AWESOME!!!!  i have made some very bad decisions in my life, decisions i may or may not ever tell you(you'd have to ask and it'd depend on the person). but i am a very smart, reasonable, independent girl. i love myself(mind body and soul included). and i dont need anyone helping me, convincing me or anything else for me to do so. i have changed tremendously and yet i have remained the same fun. loving person my whole life. i have grown, sliden back, raced forward and all sorts of things as i have gotten older through the years. i can be very mature, making great decisions, and on the other hand littlest of things delight me still. small gifts, warm smiles, and honest compliments. i love loving others and i love being loved. a comforting  hug, trusting hand to be held, a loving kiss on the head, and a dedicated should to lean on: these are small things that mean the biggest to me. i have decided to move back in with my parents and finish high school. i have one more year left. i am 18. i am me. <3

warning.

gonna start writing about my life from my side.. noone really asks my side. these stories are real and if they offend you, dont read them. names are changed to protect those i love