in my words....

i havent been on my blog since feburary. i'm to tell you what has happened since then

I was living with my parents in gilbert. in feb i went to the UN with the young marines. i had a blast. sooo much fun! in march i moved out. i went and lived with my best friend(to protect her identity she will be Glitz). Glitz and i had a grand time for a while. her mother was crazy and slowly she pushed me out. Glitz and i still were friends and we stayed friends. her mother found out that her and her boyfriend had had sex and her mother teared her away from me. we havent really talked much since. her mother said she would rather have Glitz get pregnant and 'take' the consequences for her actions rather then help Glitz be protected. honestly people, you cant control your kids. no matter WHAT you do to them. if they are gonna do it and find a way anyways, please help them not ruin their lives. what stupid butthead of a mother calls herself a christian then says that its practically 'biblical' to rather have a pregnant daughter then one who can get help and be safe and not ruin her life. GRRR!!!!! >.<    at the time i had been living with a woman i have known for a looong time (Datette). Datette had some kids and she was married. she was very close to me and she had gotten me my job. i had decided to go to school again after having withdrawn early(b4 school actually got out) and so i was going to move to mesa to do school. when i moved Datette's husband, who had just gotten into an accident,  was extremely mad at me. i had enjoyed and appreciated everything they had done for me. but when i went to move my stuff, Datette wasnt there. and her husband was cruel, rude, hostile, selfish, and mean to me AND to my friend(Dusty) who came with me to truck my stuff out. i wasn't going out with anyone then. but i had alot of guy friends who were very nice to me. Dusty was the older son of the family i was formerly living with. He and i had gotten out of hand once in a relationshipish type thing. i had an ex(James) with whom we had had a loong committed relationship that ended quite  badly. we had spent awhile going back and forth and there was some hurt feelings in that. but in the end i broke up with James, i was rude, mean, and not very kind to him when i did it.. that is one of my regrets.. maybe not that i had broken up with him, but how i did it. i should have never treated him that way. i should never treat anyone that way. he was my closest friend and my lover in many ways. we had an amazing long distance relationship for a long time. but i know realize that that chapter of my life is written, printed and published. i could never take that back. the family i was with stressed me out big time. i appreciate everything they did for me. i lived with them while going to summer school. Ian, the 12 yo, was the biggest brat ever!!! he hated me and despite his fathers lying  claims of 'no he doesnt, hes crushing on you', Ian hit me, lied to me, cheated, stole, and everything else one sane human being does NOT do to another. Rick, 10yo was nice and he loved cuddling during movies, but he did everything to please his brother. Jasmine, the 4 yo girl was the biggest most spoilt little brat ever!!!  Their father was creepy and their mother... eh! i get shivers. anyways.  so i actually went to disneyland with this same family and i saw James there. i went to his house for lunch with his family.. all was going well until we were walking downtown disney together and we broached the subject of relationships and he shot me down. he was very strong and adamant that we would NEVER get back together because the long distance isnt worth it.. anyways so i was dating this guy named Brett L. for a week before i left. then i went to a young marine academy for two weeks. Advanced Leadership Academy was AWESOME!!!!  i have made some very bad decisions in my life, decisions i may or may not ever tell you(you'd have to ask and it'd depend on the person). but i am a very smart, reasonable, independent girl. i love myself(mind body and soul included). and i dont need anyone helping me, convincing me or anything else for me to do so. i have changed tremendously and yet i have remained the same fun. loving person my whole life. i have grown, sliden back, raced forward and all sorts of things as i have gotten older through the years. i can be very mature, making great decisions, and on the other hand littlest of things delight me still. small gifts, warm smiles, and honest compliments. i love loving others and i love being loved. a comforting  hug, trusting hand to be held, a loving kiss on the head, and a dedicated should to lean on: these are small things that mean the biggest to me. i have decided to move back in with my parents and finish high school. i have one more year left. i am 18. i am me. <3

warning.

gonna start writing about my life from my side.. noone really asks my side. these stories are real and if they offend you, dont read them. names are changed to protect those i love

so much to do..... *sigh*

umm....

So on the way to school today mom tells me that caleb is carefree and nice to everyone so he is America and i am France because i am violent and hostile. Then i mention it to people at school and they said i wasn’t France, i was Europe.. i’m not sure wat that all means. Honestly i either will give you my love and trust or i will be cautious and wary of you. I dont want to be labeled as violent or hostile.. Thats neither becoming or nice. Nobody wants a horribly mean, nasty, hostile person.. I think i will rethink my take on life now…

Memory:

I was reminded today about how when i was younger and my parents took us swimming at a pool (opposed to the norm of the beach)  and my mom used to lay on her back in the water and let my ‘hold’ her convincing me i was uber strong… hahaha *cute*

who is Ben?

Ben is one of my ex bf’s. we went out for awhile and have known each other our whole lives. i went through alot with him by my side. we are currently not going out but we were great friends that shared a deep love for each other until it all turned to shits. Life's hands you lemons but you gotta find your own sugar and water. 

What just happened that makes me wish i had C4..

sigh!!!… ok so i was talking to dad about how they take everything away for random indefinete amounts of time any time i ever do anything and he said it was his ‘right’ as my dad/parent to do so. then i said well appropriate grounding of certain things are ok but you both take everything and it gets old. then he got mad at me and said that i just cant deal with consequneces and getting what i deserve for my actions and im just too rebellious and stuff!!! then he said IF i cleaned my room before mon and kept it that way for a couple months then he MIGHT THINK about taking small steps to unground me. they make me so frustrated i want to cry and so mad i want to hurt someone! but i dont believe crying ever solves anything and i would never hurt anyone… i think im going to burst.. what to do?

My Favorite quotes so far.

Dont stop where it doesnt end or you wont get the full satisfaction of completing your goal. ~???

“Live your heart out, Dance in the rain,Cherish the moment,Ignore the pain, Live,Laugh,Love. Forgive & Forget, Life is to short to be living with Regrets”

The sharp knife of a short life, well
I’ve had just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin
Lay me down on a bed of roses
Sink me in the river at dawn
Send me away with the words of a love song..

..Gather up your tears, keep ‘em in your pocket
Save ‘em for a time when you’re really gonna need ‘em, oh..
…

“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” 
― Dr. Seuss


“I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best.” 
― Marilyn Monroe 


“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching, 
Love like you’ll never be hurt, 
Sing like there’s nobody listening, 
And live like it’s heaven on earth.” 
― William W. Purkey


“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” 
― Maya Angelou


“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” 
― Mae West

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.” 
― Albert Einstein 


“In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life: it goes on.” 
― Robert Frost 


“Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans.” 
― John Lennon 


“To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all.” 
― Oscar Wilde 

“It is better to be hated for what you are than loved for what you are not.” 
― André Gide


“To laugh often and much; to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children; to earn the appreciation of honest critics and to endure the betrayal of false friends. To appreciate beauty; to find the best in others; to leave the world a bit better whether by a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson 


“Life is an opportunity, benefit from it. 
Life is beauty, admire it. 
Life is a dream, realize it. 
Life is a challenge, meet it. 
Life is a duty, complete it. 
Life is a game, play it. 
Life is a promise, fulfill it. 
Life is sorrow, overcome it. 
Life is a song, sing it. 
Life is a struggle, accept it. 
Life is a tragedy, confront it. 
Life is an adventure, dare it. 
Life is luck, make it. 
Life is too precious, do not destroy it. 
Life is life, fight for it.” 
― Mother Teresa


“Sometimes the questions are complicated and the answers are simple.” 
― Dr. Seuss

“Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson 


“This life is what you make it. Not matter what, you’re going to mess up sometimes, it’s a universal truth. But the good part is you get to decide how you’re going to mess it up. Girls will be your friends - they’ll act like it anyway. But just remember, some come, somg go. The ones that stay with you through everything - they’re your true best friends. Don’t let go of them. Also remember, sisters make the best friends in the world. As for lovers, well, they’ll come and go too. And babve, I hate to say it, most of them - actually pretty much all of them are going to break your heart, but you can’t give up becuase if you give up, you’ll never find your soul mate. You’ll never find that half who makes you whole and that goes for everything. Just because you fail once, doesn’t mean you’re gonna fail at everything. Keep trying, hold on, and always, always, always believe in yourself, because if you don’t, then who will, sweetie? So keep your head high, keep your chin up, and most importantly, keep smiling, because life’s a beautiful thing and there’s so much to smile about.” 
― Marilyn Monroe 

“If you don’t know where you are going, any road will get you there.” 
― Lewis Carroll

“Life is like riding a bicycle. To keep your balance, you must keep moving.” 
― Albert Einstein

“Sometimes people are beautiful. 
Not in looks. 
Not in what they say. 
Just in what they are.” 
― Markus Zusak, I Am the Messenger

“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I’ve learned, the hard way, that some poems don’t rhyme, and some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. 
Delicious Ambiguity.” 
― Gilda Radner 

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” 
― Dr. Seuss

“You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.” 
― Dr. Seuss

“I think of six impossible things before breakfast”

1. There is a drink that can make me shrink.
2. There is a cake that can make me Grow.
3. Animals can talk
4. There is a cat that can disappear.
5. There is a place called Wonderland.
6. I can slay the jabberwocky



“One person’s craziness is another person’s reality.” 
― Tim Burton 

“Everything in this room is edible. Even I’m edible. But that would be called cannibalism, my dear children, It is looked down upon in most societies.” 
― Tim Burton, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 

“Stick Boy liked Match Girl, 
He liked her a lot. 
He liked her cute figure, 
he thought she was hot. 
But could a flame ever burn 
for a match and a stick? 
It did quite literally; 
he burned up quick.” 
― Tim Burton, The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy” and Other Stories 

“We all know interspecies romance is weird.” 
― Tim Burton 

“Visions are worth fighting for. Why spend you(r) life making someone else’s dreams?” 
― Tim Burton 

“Voodoo Girl 
Her skin is white cloth, 
and she’s all sewn apart 
and she has many colored pins 
sticking out of her heart. 

She has many different zombies 
who are deeply in her trance. 
She even has a zombie 
who was originally from France.

But she knows she has a curse on her, 
a curse she cannot win. For if someone gets too close to her, 
the pins stick further in.” 
― Tim Burton 


“My name is Jimmy, 
but my friends just call me 
the hideous penguin boy.” 
― Tim Burton, The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories


“Son, are you happy? 
I don’t mean to pry, 
but do you dream of Heaven? 
Have you ever wanted to die?” 
― Tim Burton, The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories 

“They took a baseball bat 
and whacked open his head. 
Mummy Boy fell to the ground; 
he finally was dead. 
Inside of his head 
were no candy or prizes, 
jast a few stray bettles 
of various sizes.” 
― Tim Burton, The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories 

“Mr. Smith yelled at the doctor, 
What have you done to my boy? 
He’s not flesh and blood, 
he’s aluminum alloy!” 
The doctor said gently, 
What I’m going to say 
will sound pretty wild. 
But you’re not the father 
of this strange looking child. 
You see, there still is some question 
about the child’s gender, 
but we think that its father 
is a microwave blender.” 
― Tim Burton, The Melancholy Death of Oyster Boy and Other Stories 

“I am not a dark person and I don’t consider myself dark.” 
― Tim Burton 

“Minister: Welcome, brother! Do you reject Satan and all his works? 
Bunny Breckinridge: Sure.” 
― Tim Burton

“You don’t know whether chimps are going to kill you or kiss you. They’re very open on some levels and much more evil in a certain way.” 
― Tim Burton 

“One person’s crazyness is another person’s reality.” 
― Tim Burton 

Staring Girl 
I once knew a girl 
who would just stand there and stare. 
At anyone or anything, 
she seemed not to care
― Tim Burton 

“One of the things that we were trying to do with this show was the complexities of relationships and love. There is both passion and longing and a bittersweet quality to it that is a part of life.’ 
—Tim Burton 
Life Story Magazine” 
― Tim Burton, Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride: An Invitation to the Wedding 



{“I was wondering what it would be like to fly.”

“My father said he sometimes believe in six impossible things before breakfast.”

“Curiouser and curiouser.”

“It’s only a dream.”

“Time can be funny in dreams.”

“Hatter!”

“From the moment I fell down the rabbit hole, I’ve been told what I must do and who I must be. I’ve been shrunk, stretched, scratched, and stuffed inside a tea pot. I’ve been accused of being Alice and of not being Alice.”

“This is my dream. I’ll decide where it goes from here…I make the path!”

“Off with your head!”

“What an idea. A crazy, mad and wonderful idea.”

“Don’t worry, Mother, I’ll find something useful to do with my life.”} -Alice
{“I love a warm pig belly for my aching feet.”

“You’re right, Stayn. It is far better to be feared than loved.”

“Someone has stolen three of my tarts!”

“Use the curtains if you must, but clothe this enormous girl.”

“Her name is Um, you idiot!”

“I love my Fat-boys. Now get out.”

“Prepare the Jabberwocky for battle. We’re going to visit my little sister.”} –Red Queen


{“You’re mad, bonkers, off your head! But I’ll tell you a secret: All the best people are.”} -Charles Kingsley

sez, I made a list of special people in my life with a pencil, but when I reached your name, I used a pen because I wanna keep you forever!